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Friday, July 6, 2018

Saving Marriage and Relationship through solving the Problems



Saving  Marriage and Relationship through solving the Problems 

Many people go online in search of the solution to there ailing relationship and marriage without realising the fact that sustaining a successful and a romantic relationship is one of the hardest things to do in life. After falling in love and the ‘honeymoon’ period, we all have to keep on working on our relationships. This is because relationships bring up our deepest fears and insecurities. We can even think of relationship problems as our best opportunity to heal our personal issues. after our marriage there is need for couple to keep on working on each other so as to bring out the best in each other.Every relationship has it ups and down and so we all have to learn how to manage every occurring situation that can negatively affect our relationship.


       ➠➠➠Unexpressed Fear and Needs
Couples in the cause of relationship hide some vita thing for each other due to the fear of the unknown of what could happen if other partner get to know.every one has his own need. Out of our fear comes our needs and these create demands on our partners. If there is a problem in a relationship, one or more significant need is NOT being met. Interestingly this will be the same need that your partner also feels is lacking in the relationship. By identifying your unmet needs you can give this same thing to your partner and they will automatically begin to give this same thing back to you. It is even better if you can talk about your fears and needs with your partner in an emotionally mature way. Honest and heartfelt communication is the best way to save a relationship. It can take courage to express your feelings but this is the way forward in a relationship problem. Sometimes it takes time and the help of a third party to do this, so you might consider some counselling.As you communicate about your unmet needs and fears you will find that your partner shares them and any problems will then fall away.

          ➠➠➠Arguments 
Relationship fights are about who is going to meet the needs of the other person who is going to do this who is going to do that.learning to put and end to argument will help the couple in getting along with each other   Given that they are always shared by both partners, you can see how futile this is. To end an argument and prevent others occurring you must be willing to stop the fight over needs and think about what you could give to the relationship to make it better. Such leadership only comes when we recognize the cause of the fights and gain sufficient emotional maturity not to be triggered into anger and attack.

    ➠ Judgement
Our judgement about our partners are really our self judgments. We project out the parts of ourselves that we do not like on the people around us. What are you judging in your partner? What annoys you about them? Perhaps they are always busy at work and you don’t feel they value you. If so,how much do you value yourself and how much quality time do you give to yourself. by judging your partner.
By working on your own self-esteem  you will become more attractive to your partner. After all, they fell in love with you because of the positive qualities they saw in you – find these again in yourself, embody them with all your senses and start giving them once again. you will become more attractive to your partner. 

         ➠➠ ➠Spirituality☝
If you have a spiritual or religious belief you can ask for help and guidance from God . At the core of all relationship problems is a loss of faith in our own spirit and divine, loving connections. In fact we are afraid of this much connection – afraid of a spiritual oneness where there is just love for ourselves, everybody and everything. It seems that we create our relationship problems to avoid accepting our true loving destinies. Any spiritual practice will help with re-connecting with our spirit and help us to find peace and love in our romantic relationships.

           ➠➠➠Love ♥


Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Single and Happy – Finding Contentment From Within With the Right Mindset


A lot of single people are dissatisfied with their lives. They
spend most of their time lamenting the fact that they are not in
a relationship, and the rest of their time looking for a
relationship. Thus, they become discontent, dissatisfied, and
tend to complain a lot. They consider their being single a major
disadvantage or shortcoming in their lives. In fact, their being
single somehow becomes their identity. It’s as if being single
has an actual bearing on who they are and how their lives turn
out. And the tendency is for them to feel like a victim of the
world, like the universe is really conspiring against them so
they would be unable to find someone to be with.

1. Change your perspective on singlehood. The real problem in
being single is having the wrong mindset. In truth, being single
does not and should not have a major effect on your life. You
should be able to find contentment and peace in yourself whether
you are attached or not. You should not let a relationship, or
the lack of it, be the anchor of your personality. And if you
used to be single, you don’t have to change yourself once you
become part of a relationship. You should have hobbies,
interests – a personality – that remains even when you
transition from being single to being part of a couple. Thus,
being single shouldn’t really bring a significant change in who
you are. Your being single does not, in any way, make you any
less valuable as a person. So you have to break free from the
mindset that your lack of a partner dictates who you are.

2. Confidence sells. If you are not some lonely, single person,
then who are you? Once you change your mindset and take away the
“singlehood label” you’ve placed on yourself, you can now focus
on getting to know who you really are without anyone to dictate
it for you. This way, you can focus on building and enhancing
your personality. The more you know yourself and the more you
expand yourself, the happier and more confident you will be. And
the more confident you are on your own, the more attractive you
will be to others. After all, nothing sells better than
confidence.

Subliminal messages can help you improve your confidence in
yourself. These are messages that are delivered to your
subconscious mind to change how it works. These messages can be
delivered with the use of subliminal videos and audio. Here are
some examples of subliminal messages that are beneficial for the
single, independent you:

I am independent and strong.
I have a high level of confidence in myself.
I am at peace with myself.
My happiness and contentment comes from within.

3. Live your life now. A lot of people put off their greatest
hopes and dreams for when they already get married. Their list
of goals start with getting married, and all other goals pale in
comparison. They think their lives will only begin once they
settle down. The truth is, there’s no need for that. You can
live your own life right now; in fact, you should do everything
you want to do while you still can. Once you get married, you
will have more responsibilities and less freedom.

4. Use your singlehood as motivation. Most married people don’t
really go out to explore and experiment in life anymore. They
have a dozen other things to spend their time on. Once you get
married, you’ll understand. But single people are not attached
to anyone or anything, so you can still explore and experiment
all you want. Instead of looking at your singlehood as a
negative thing, why not see it as a motivation to get more out
of life?

5. Your career is not the only option. Most people tend to
think that since they’re single, they might as well pour
everything they have into their careers. Focusing entirely on
your career will only make you see the large gaping hole of
singlehood in your life. Aside from that, if you focus too much
on your career, once something goes wrong at the office, you
won’t have a fallback anymore, and the more you will wallow in
self-pity over not having a partner to turn to in such tough
times. But if you have many things going for you, like your
career, a yoga class, a book you’re reading, a charity you
support, and so on, you won’t notice your lack of a relationship
much.

About the Author: Nelson Berry is the Pioneer of Subliminal
Messages Videos and Subliminal MP3s Audio Online. Click for 4
Free Subliminal Video Downloads (valued at $160) containing
Subliminal Messages! http://www.nelsonberrysubliminalblog.com/

Source: http://www.isnare.com

Permanent Link:
http://www.isnare.com/?aid=815292&ca=Relationships

Friday, May 6, 2011

How to Handle a Man Who Isn't Ready for Commitment! Learn the Smart Way to Handle It



Is your man reluctant to commit? Well prepare yourself for some emotional torture if your answer is yes. Do you know that all humans want certainty in life especially when it comes to their relationships but nothing can be more difficult than having to deal with a guy who just can't make up his mind about you!

Now the big question is - How do you deal with him? Will he ever commit? Will he ever finally make up his mind? How long will it take?

You see these questions will always be there. But the biggest question is - Should you even be around when he can't make up his mind? Let's get into a bit more detail here...

If it's been really long then it's probably a "NO" -

Sounds awful but this might be the truth in your case and some day you will have to accept it. Now I am not saying that there are no exceptions to this.

Yes, there are men out there who do change their mind after a few years but that doesn't mean that every man is like that.

Really think about it - If a man has doubts about you in his mind right now, what makes you say that those doubts will go away with time? In fact! Do you know that in most cases a man gets even more doubtful with the passage of time?

Is there something I can do to convince him?

Well NO! There isn't anything you can do to convince him. If he really wants to be with you, he will do it. But if he doesn't, he will always have one excuse after another.

So honestly speaking you would be wasting your time if you are planning to convince him to commit to you. And at the end you will only end up with even more frustration.

So what's the solution?

The only solution to this situation is to give your man a lot of space. You should stop calling him completely for the time being. Do not do any of the routine stuff you normally do around him.

You must let him know that you aren't okay with the fact that you have to stick around him when he can't even make up his mind about you. The faster you do this the better it's going to be.

One of the two things are going to happen after you start avoiding him...Either he will want you more than before and will want to commit to you.

Or he will not be bothered at all with your move and will act as if nothing happened.

If he isn't really bothered, then it's more than obvious that he didn't want to be with you to start with and was only keeping you around till the time he found someone else.

You can't cure his commitment phobia -

Again, it's really important that you understand this. You can't sit around a guy in hopes that you can cure his commitment phobia and can make him change his mind about you.

Guys who are commitment phobic have deep rooted insecurities attached with the topic of commitment.

The only best way is to let him go and find someone who wants to commit.

Points to remember -

* Life is limited therefore don't waste your time on someone who doesn't even want to be with you. Go for someone who wants the same thing as you do.
* The process is very simple - If he truly loves you, then he would be more than willing to commit and if he doesn't then there is no real point in being with him because your relationship won't really get anywhere.
* If you don't end things now and still want to stick around in hopes that he might change his mind then you are only setting yourself up for a lot of pain. There are things in life you can change and then there are things you simply can't change. You can't change his mind about you therefore don't waste your time in trying to do so.

Pay Close Attention Here-

Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning psychological trick which will show you- How to Captivate a Man, Make Him Fall in Love with You -- and Give You The World. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page right now- Click Here

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Amy_Tiffin


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6230019

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Why Don't Men Like Successful Women? 7 Fears Every Man Has When It Comes To Dating Successful Women! By Krista Hiles Platinum Quality Author

Why Don't Men Like Successful Women? 7 Fears Every Man Has When It Comes To Dating Successful Women!

Friday, October 8, 2010

How To overcome the fear of approaching a woman
It is clear for any normal man to have a heterosexual positive relationship with a opposite sex(woman).
It will not only help in increasing and restoring happiness in life but will also add spice in life too. When people say that women are not important for our life, they must be frustrated about approaching women and get their companionship.

It is frequently seen that boys fear to talk to their opposite sex partners because of a sort of fear. They feel that if they propose any girl they might be rejected. Keeping this idea in mind, they do not march forward to vent their desire out to any girl. There has been a lot of research on this issue and it has proved that men are bound to come in contact with their opposite sex and vice versa. If they do not show their interest in opposite sex there is definitely wrong in something. So, if you feel scary to approach any women try to find out solutions from this.

You may seem crazy for enjoying sex with your desired partner and your belly may churn out to fulfill your demand. But you have failed to satisfy yourself because you fall flat while talking with women. To get rid off this problem you need to change your attitude first. It is natural that you would find problematic while talking with girl for the first time. Actually, the fear of rejection pesters boys to approach and try to attract women. Start any conversation with open mind. Do not hesitate to ask her name at the first encounter. Be sure not to ask for dating at the first meet, this may spoil the relationship. You should have to keep in mind that any good woman would never go for dating in the first meet so let the time pass by and mould her mind by taking with her about some interesting thing. It is better to start off with some polite conversation keeping the point of general interest so that both of you get chance of talking and do not get bored. Gradually try to convince her by your body language. Try to convince her by praising her beauty; it is because women like to get flattered by their opposite sex.

To change the scenario of rejection you need to follow some tricks. First, you need to confident about your dress – shirts, pants, and of course hair. There are no specific rules that you need to wear costly dresses…wear some dresses, which makes you smart enough to impress any new girl. If you are confident about yourself then roll on.

Slowly approach to any girl and stand as close as possible. Try to catch her attention by eye contact…do not stare for long rather let her see at you. Once she stares at you try to keep eye contact rolling for a few moment. Just go forward and politely ask her name of something that you feel like. You can also ask the time also. That would be better for you to get the feelings of talking with a woman. If you ask anything she would definitely answer your questions back.

Grab the opportunity right then. It is definitely true that women like men with confidence, try to boast of confidence within you. Do not hesitate to ask questions or talking with her because of the fear of rejection. If you never talk with women, you will obviously never be rejected, but you will also never succeed. While talking with them develop courage within you and then you would have chance of success compared to none if you do not approach and talk with her. Once you get the taste of success you will be able to dissipate the fear of rejection from your mind. If you can let go of your fear of rejection and begin to approach women automatically, you would definitely be able to improve your game.
Start conversation softly; don"t show your anger to her if she tells you something bad. Try to make friendship with her not only by lip service but also by your action and body language. If she is willing to give you her phone number note is down and leave your number to her. If she is not willing to give you her number do not force to do so. Tell her that you have found her interesting and you would like to make friendship with her. If she shows interest rest assured of getting more things from her. Even if she denies making any relationship do not leave her for granted. Call her in some convenient hour and try to persuade her by sweet and convincing tone. with this tip you can easily win the heart of any woman

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Save My Marriage Or Relationship - Getting to the Core ofRelationship Problems By Peter J Granger
Many people search on my website because their relationship hasrun into difficulties and they are looking for help or ideas.The truth is that sustaining a successful romantic relationshipis one of the hardest things we will ever do in life. Afterfalling in love and the ‘honeymoon’ period, we all have to workon our relationships. This is because relationships bring up ourdeepest fears and insecurities. We can even think ofrelationship problems as our best opportunity to heal ourpersonal issues – that is why we have come together with ourpartner.
I could offer you some temporary fixes to an ailingrelationship, but if we are really going to save it and turn itinto a lifetime partnership we must learn how to work on thenegative issues that come up between us and a partner. To save arelationship and make it sustainable into the future we must bewilling to heal the core issues that have caused it to run intodifficulties in the first place.
Unexpressed Fear and Needs
All relationship problems arise from a breakdown in the lovingconnection between two people. There will always be somenegative emotions that have not been expressed in therelationship – it is the fear associated with these, usuallyunconscious, feelings that destroys the relationship. Theunexpressed feelings cause us to separate from our partnerbecause we do not want them to see our negative side in casethey reject us. Ironically, this is exactly what our protectivestrategy brings about!
Out of our fear comes our needs and these create demands on ourpartners. If there is a problem in a relationship, one or moresignificant need is NOT being met. Interestingly this will bethe same need that your partner also feels is lacking in therelationship. By identifying your unmet needs you can give thissame thing to your partner and they will automatically begin togive this same thing back to you. It is even better if you cantalk about your fears and needs with your partner in anemotionally mature way. Honest and heartfelt communication isthe best way to save a relationship. It can take courage toexpress your feelings but this is the way forward in arelationship problem. Sometimes it takes time and the help of athird party to do this, so you might consider some counselling.As you communicate about your unmet needs and fears you willfind that your partner shares them and any problems will thenfall away.
Arguments and Rows
Relationship fights are about who is going to meet the needs ofthe other person. Given that they are always shared by bothpartners, you can see how futile this is. To end an argument andprevent others occurring you must be willing to stop the fightover needs and think about what you could give to therelationship to make it better. Such leadership only comes whenwe recognise the cause of the fights and gain sufficientemotional maturity not to be triggered into anger and attack.
Judgements
Our judgements about our partners are really ourself-judgements. We project out the parts of ourselves that wedo not like on the people around us. What are you judging inyour partner? What annoys you about them? Perhaps they arealways busy at work and you don’t feel they value you. If so,how much do you value yourself and how much quality time do yougive to yourself. By working on your own self-esteem (see mywebsite for more ideas) you will become more attractive to yourpartner. After all, they fell in love with you because of thepositive qualities they saw in you – find these again inyourself, embody them with all your senses and start giving themonce again.
Spirituality
If you have a spiritual or religious belief you can ask forhelp and guidance from God (or however you know a divine orspiritual presence in your life). At the core of allrelationship problems is a loss of faith in our own spirit anddivine, loving connections. In fact we are afraid of this muchconnection – afraid of a spiritual oneness where there is justlove for ourselves, everybody and everything. It seems that wecreate our relationship problems to avoid accepting our trueloving destinies. Any spiritual practice will help withre-connecting with our spirit and help us to find peace and lovein our romantic relationships.
Love
I assume you first got together with your partner because youfelt so much love for them. At that time you both put aside yourfears and needs and discovered unconditional love. Being humanmeans that those fears often return but we can heal them bestwith a partner providing we are willing and brave enough to gointo those areas of pain in our mind that we have hidden away.We avoid expressing our pain because we don’t want our partnerto see what we perceive as a weakness – we fear they will rejectus and leave us, and yet if we don’t express them therelationship is at great risk. Therefore a willingness to openour hearts and just become more authentic will always reveal thetruth in a relationship and allow both partners to grow and taketheir lives forward.
So what is it that is holding your relationship back? Now isthe time to grasp the nettle and open your heart. Feel into yourown pain and hidden insecurities and realise that these are alsoin your partner, but probably cleverly hidden by compensatorybehaviour. Your partner needs your help and you currently havemore emotional awareness. They need your forgiveness for anyfailings and your emotional courage to inspire them to healtheir own insecurities. Pour your love, appreciation andgratitude onto your partner and re-discover all those thingsthat you adored about them in the beginning.
About the Author: Peter Granger is an acclaimed relationshipcounsellor and life coach. He is a trainer with the Psychologyof Vision. He runs relationship and self-development workshopsin the UK. For more free relationship advice and informationabout his book, go to http://www.iloveyouloveme.com
Source: http://www.isnare.com
Permanent Link:http://www.isnare.com/?aid=266530&ca=RelationshipsSave My Marriage Or Relationship - Getting to the Core ofRelationship ProblemsBy Peter J Granger
Many people search on my website because their relationship hasrun into difficulties and they are looking for help or ideas.The truth is that sustaining a successful romantic relationshipis one of the hardest things we will ever do in life. Afterfalling in love and the ‘honeymoon’ period, we all have to workon our relationships. This is because relationships bring up ourdeepest fears and insecurities. We can even think ofrelationship problems as our best opportunity to heal ourpersonal issues – that is why we have come together with ourpartner.
I could offer you some temporary fixes to an ailingrelationship, but if we are really going to save it and turn itinto a lifetime partnership we must learn how to work on thenegative issues that come up between us and a partner. To save arelationship and make it sustainable into the future we must bewilling to heal the core issues that have caused it to run intodifficulties in the first place.
Unexpressed Fear and Needs
All relationship problems arise from a breakdown in the lovingconnection between two people. There will always be somenegative emotions that have not been expressed in therelationship – it is the fear associated with these, usuallyunconscious, feelings that destroys the relationship. Theunexpressed feelings cause us to separate from our partnerbecause we do not want them to see our negative side in casethey reject us. Ironically, this is exactly what our protectivestrategy brings about!
Out of our fear comes our needs and these create demands on ourpartners. If there is a problem in a relationship, one or moresignificant need is NOT being met. Interestingly this will bethe same need that your partner also feels is lacking in therelationship. By identifying your unmet needs you can give thissame thing to your partner and they will automatically begin togive this same thing back to you. It is even better if you cantalk about your fears and needs with your partner in anemotionally mature way. Honest and heartfelt communication isthe best way to save a relationship. It can take courage toexpress your feelings but this is the way forward in arelationship problem. Sometimes it takes time and the help of athird party to do this, so you might consider some counselling.As you communicate about your unmet needs and fears you willfind that your partner shares them and any problems will thenfall away.
Arguments and Rows
Relationship fights are about who is going to meet the needs ofthe other person. Given that they are always shared by bothpartners, you can see how futile this is. To end an argument andprevent others occurring you must be willing to stop the fightover needs and think about what you could give to therelationship to make it better. Such leadership only comes whenwe recognise the cause of the fights and gain sufficientemotional maturity not to be triggered into anger and attack.
Judgements
Our judgements about our partners are really ourself-judgements. We project out the parts of ourselves that wedo not like on the people around us. What are you judging inyour partner? What annoys you about them? Perhaps they arealways busy at work and you don’t feel they value you. If so,how much do you value yourself and how much quality time do yougive to yourself. By working on your own self-esteem (see mywebsite for more ideas) you will become more attractive to yourpartner. After all, they fell in love with you because of thepositive qualities they saw in you – find these again inyourself, embody them with all your senses and start giving themonce again.
Spirituality
If you have a spiritual or religious belief you can ask forhelp and guidance from God (or however you know a divine orspiritual presence in your life). At the core of allrelationship problems is a loss of faith in our own spirit anddivine, loving connections. In fact we are afraid of this muchconnection – afraid of a spiritual oneness where there is justlove for ourselves, everybody and everything. It seems that wecreate our relationship problems to avoid accepting our trueloving destinies. Any spiritual practice will help withre-connecting with our spirit and help us to find peace and lovein our romantic relationships.
Love
I assume you first got together with your partner because youfelt so much love for them. At that time you both put aside yourfears and needs and discovered unconditional love. Being humanmeans that those fears often return but we can heal them bestwith a partner providing we are willing and brave enough to gointo those areas of pain in our mind that we have hidden away.We avoid expressing our pain because we don’t want our partnerto see what we perceive as a weakness – we fear they will rejectus and leave us, and yet if we don’t express them therelationship is at great risk. Therefore a willingness to openour hearts and just become more authentic will always reveal thetruth in a relationship and allow both partners to grow and taketheir lives forward.
So what is it that is holding your relationship back? Now isthe time to grasp the nettle and open your heart. Feel into yourown pain and hidden insecurities and realise that these are alsoin your partner, but probably cleverly hidden by compensatorybehaviour. Your partner needs your help and you currently havemore emotional awareness. They need your forgiveness for anyfailings and your emotional courage to inspire them to healtheir own insecurities. Pour your love, appreciation andgratitude onto your partner and re-discover all those thingsthat you adored about them in the beginning.
About the Author: Peter Granger is an acclaimed relationshipcounsellor and life coach. He is a trainer with the Psychologyof Vision. He runs relationship and self-development workshopsin the UK. For more free relationship advice and informationabout his book, go to http://www.iloveyouloveme.com
Source: http://www.isnare.com
Permanent Link:http://www.isnare.com/?aid=266530&ca=RelationshipsSave My Marriage Or Relationship - Getting to the Core ofRelationship ProblemsBy Peter J Granger
Many people search on my website because their relationship hasrun into difficulties and they are looking for help or ideas.The truth is that sustaining a successful romantic relationshipis one of the hardest things we will ever do in life. Afterfalling in love and the ‘honeymoon’ period, we all have to workon our relationships. This is because relationships bring up ourdeepest fears and insecurities. We can even think ofrelationship problems as our best opportunity to heal ourpersonal issues – that is why we have come together with ourpartner.
I could offer you some temporary fixes to an ailingrelationship, but if we are really going to save it and turn itinto a lifetime partnership we must learn how to work on thenegative issues that come up between us and a partner. To save arelationship and make it sustainable into the future we must bewilling to heal the core issues that have caused it to run intodifficulties in the first place.
Unexpressed Fear and Needs
All relationship problems arise from a breakdown in the lovingconnection between two people. There will always be somenegative emotions that have not been expressed in therelationship – it is the fear associated with these, usuallyunconscious, feelings that destroys the relationship. Theunexpressed feelings cause us to separate from our partnerbecause we do not want them to see our negative side in casethey reject us. Ironically, this is exactly what our protectivestrategy brings about!
Out of our fear comes our needs and these create demands on ourpartners. If there is a problem in a relationship, one or moresignificant need is NOT being met. Interestingly this will bethe same need that your partner also feels is lacking in therelationship. By identifying your unmet needs you can give thissame thing to your partner and they will automatically begin togive this same thing back to you. It is even better if you cantalk about your fears and needs with your partner in anemotionally mature way. Honest and heartfelt communication isthe best way to save a relationship. It can take courage toexpress your feelings but this is the way forward in arelationship problem. Sometimes it takes time and the help of athird party to do this, so you might consider some counselling.As you communicate about your unmet needs and fears you willfind that your partner shares them and any problems will thenfall away.
Arguments and Rows
Relationship fights are about who is going to meet the needs ofthe other person. Given that they are always shared by bothpartners, you can see how futile this is. To end an argument andprevent others occurring you must be willing to stop the fightover needs and think about what you could give to therelationship to make it better. Such leadership only comes whenwe recognise the cause of the fights and gain sufficientemotional maturity not to be triggered into anger and attack.
Judgements
Our judgements about our partners are really ourself-judgements. We project out the parts of ourselves that wedo not like on the people around us. What are you judging inyour partner? What annoys you about them? Perhaps they arealways busy at work and you don’t feel they value you. If so,how much do you value yourself and how much quality time do yougive to yourself. By working on your own self-esteem (see mywebsite for more ideas) you will become more attractive to yourpartner. After all, they fell in love with you because of thepositive qualities they saw in you – find these again inyourself, embody them with all your senses and start giving themonce again.
Spirituality
If you have a spiritual or religious belief you can ask forhelp and guidance from God (or however you know a divine orspiritual presence in your life). At the core of allrelationship problems is a loss of faith in our own spirit anddivine, loving connections. In fact we are afraid of this muchconnection – afraid of a spiritual oneness where there is justlove for ourselves, everybody and everything. It seems that wecreate our relationship problems to avoid accepting our trueloving destinies. Any spiritual practice will help withre-connecting with our spirit and help us to find peace and lovein our romantic relationships.
Love
I assume you first got together with your partner because youfelt so much love for them. At that time you both put aside yourfears and needs and discovered unconditional love. Being humanmeans that those fears often return but we can heal them bestwith a partner providing we are willing and brave enough to gointo those areas of pain in our mind that we have hidden away.We avoid expressing our pain because we don’t want our partnerto see what we perceive as a weakness – we fear they will rejectus and leave us, and yet if we don’t express them therelationship is at great risk. Therefore a willingness to openour hearts and just become more authentic will always reveal thetruth in a relationship and allow both partners to grow and taketheir lives forward.
So what is it that is holding your relationship back? Now isthe time to grasp the nettle and open your heart. Feel into yourown pain and hidden insecurities and realise that these are alsoin your partner, but probably cleverly hidden by compensatorybehaviour. Your partner needs your help and you currently havemore emotional awareness. They need your forgiveness for anyfailings and your emotional courage to inspire them to healtheir own insecurities. Pour your love, appreciation andgratitude onto your partner and re-discover all those thingsthat you adored about them in the beginning.
About the Author: Peter Granger is an acclaimed relationshipcounsellor and life coach. He is a trainer with the Psychologyof Vision. He runs relationship and self-development workshopsin the UK. For more free relationship advice and informationabout his book, go to http://www.iloveyouloveme.com
Source: http://www.isnare.com
Permanent Link:http://www.isnare.com/?aid=266530&ca=RelationshipsSave My Marriage Or Relationship - Getting to the Core ofRelationship ProblemsBy Peter J Granger
Many people search on my website because their relationship hasrun into difficulties and they are looking for help or ideas.The truth is that sustaining a successful romantic relationshipis one of the hardest things we will ever do in life. Afterfalling in love and the ‘honeymoon’ period, we all have to workon our relationships. This is because relationships bring up ourdeepest fears and insecurities. We can even think ofrelationship problems as our best opportunity to heal ourpersonal issues – that is why we have come together with ourpartner.
I could offer you some temporary fixes to an ailingrelationship, but if we are really going to save it and turn itinto a lifetime partnership we must learn how to work on thenegative issues that come up between us and a partner. To save arelationship and make it sustainable into the future we must bewilling to heal the core issues that have caused it to run intodifficulties in the first place.
Unexpressed Fear and Needs
All relationship problems arise from a breakdown in the lovingconnection between two people. There will always be somenegative emotions that have not been expressed in therelationship – it is the fear associated with these, usuallyunconscious, feelings that destroys the relationship. Theunexpressed feelings cause us to separate from our partnerbecause we do not want them to see our negative side in casethey reject us. Ironically, this is exactly what our protectivestrategy brings about!
Out of our fear comes our needs and these create demands on ourpartners. If there is a problem in a relationship, one or moresignificant need is NOT being met. Interestingly this will bethe same need that your partner also feels is lacking in therelationship. By identifying your unmet needs you can give thissame thing to your partner and they will automatically begin togive this same thing back to you. It is even better if you cantalk about your fears and needs with your partner in anemotionally mature way. Honest and heartfelt communication isthe best way to save a relationship. It can take courage toexpress your feelings but this is the way forward in arelationship problem. Sometimes it takes time and the help of athird party to do this, so you might consider some counselling.As you communicate about your unmet needs and fears you willfind that your partner shares them and any problems will thenfall away.
Arguments and Rows
Relationship fights are about who is going to meet the needs ofthe other person. Given that they are always shared by bothpartners, you can see how futile this is. To end an argument andprevent others occurring you must be willing to stop the fightover needs and think about what you could give to therelationship to make it better. Such leadership only comes whenwe recognise the cause of the fights and gain sufficientemotional maturity not to be triggered into anger and attack.
Judgements
Our judgements about our partners are really ourself-judgements. We project out the parts of ourselves that wedo not like on the people around us. What are you judging inyour partner? What annoys you about them? Perhaps they arealways busy at work and you don’t feel they value you. If so,how much do you value yourself and how much quality time do yougive to yourself. By working on your own self-esteem (see mywebsite for more ideas) you will become more attractive to yourpartner. After all, they fell in love with you because of thepositive qualities they saw in you – find these again inyourself, embody them with all your senses and start giving themonce again.
Spirituality
If you have a spiritual or religious belief you can ask forhelp and guidance from God (or however you know a divine orspiritual presence in your life). At the core of allrelationship problems is a loss of faith in our own spirit anddivine, loving connections. In fact we are afraid of this muchconnection – afraid of a spiritual oneness where there is justlove for ourselves, everybody and everything. It seems that wecreate our relationship problems to avoid accepting our trueloving destinies. Any spiritual practice will help withre-connecting with our spirit and help us to find peace and lovein our romantic relationships.
Love
I assume you first got together with your partner because youfelt so much love for them. At that time you both put aside yourfears and needs and discovered unconditional love. Being humanmeans that those fears often return but we can heal them bestwith a partner providing we are willing and brave enough to gointo those areas of pain in our mind that we have hidden away.We avoid expressing our pain because we don’t want our partnerto see what we perceive as a weakness – we fear they will rejectus and leave us, and yet if we don’t express them therelationship is at great risk. Therefore a willingness to openour hearts and just become more authentic will always reveal thetruth in a relationship and allow both partners to grow and taketheir lives forward.
So what is it that is holding your relationship back? Now isthe time to grasp the nettle and open your heart. Feel into yourown pain and hidden insecurities and realise that these are alsoin your partner, but probably cleverly hidden by compensatorybehaviour. Your partner needs your help and you currently havemore emotional awareness. They need your forgiveness for anyfailings and your emotional courage to inspire them to healtheir own insecurities. Pour your love, appreciation andgratitude onto your partner and re-discover all those thingsthat you adored about them in the beginning.
About the Author: Peter Granger is an acclaimed relationshipcounsellor and life coach. He is a trainer with the Psychologyof Vision. He runs relationship and self-development workshopsin the UK. For more free relationship advice and informationabout his book, go to http://www.iloveyouloveme.com
Source: http://www.isnare.com
Permanent Link:http://www.isnare.com/?aid=266530&ca=Relationships