Posts
How To overcome the fear of approaching a woman
It is clear for any normal man to have a heterosexual positive relationship with a opposite sex(woman).
It will not only help in increasing and restoring happiness in life but will also add spice in life too. When people say that women are not important for our life, they must be frustrated about approaching women and get their companionship.
It is frequently seen that boys fear to talk to their opposite sex partners because of a sort of fear. They feel that if they propose any girl they might be rejected. Keeping this idea in mind, they do not march forward to vent their desire out to any girl. There has been a lot of research on this issue and it has proved that men are bound to come in contact with their opposite sex and vice versa. If they do not show their interest in opposite sex there is definitely wrong in something. So, if you feel scary to approach any women try to find out solutions from this.
You may seem crazy for enjoying sex with your desired partner and your belly may churn out to fulfill your demand. But you have failed to satisfy yourself because you fall flat while talking with women. To get rid off this problem you need to change your attitude first. It is natural that you would find problematic while talking with girl for the first time. Actually, the fear of rejection pesters boys to approach and try to attract women. Start any conversation with open mind. Do not hesitate to ask her name at the first encounter. Be sure not to ask for dating at the first meet, this may spoil the relationship. You should have to keep in mind that any good woman would never go for dating in the first meet so let the time pass by and mould her mind by taking with her about some interesting thing. It is better to start off with some polite conversation keeping the point of general interest so that both of you get chance of talking and do not get bored. Gradually try to convince her by your body language. Try to convince her by praising her beauty; it is because women like to get flattered by their opposite sex.
To change the scenario of rejection you need to follow some tricks. First, you need to confident about your dress – shirts, pants, and of course hair. There are no specific rules that you need to wear costly dresses…wear some dresses, which makes you smart enough to impress any new girl. If you are confident about yourself then roll on.
Slowly approach to any girl and stand as close as possible. Try to catch her attention by eye contact…do not stare for long rather let her see at you. Once she stares at you try to keep eye contact rolling for a few moment. Just go forward and politely ask her name of something that you feel like. You can also ask the time also. That would be better for you to get the feelings of talking with a woman. If you ask anything she would definitely answer your questions back.
Grab the opportunity right then. It is definitely true that women like men with confidence, try to boast of confidence within you. Do not hesitate to ask questions or talking with her because of the fear of rejection. If you never talk with women, you will obviously never be rejected, but you will also never succeed. While talking with them develop courage within you and then you would have chance of success compared to none if you do not approach and talk with her. Once you get the taste of success you will be able to dissipate the fear of rejection from your mind. If you can let go of your fear of rejection and begin to approach women automatically, you would definitely be able to improve your game.
Start conversation softly; don"t show your anger to her if she tells you something bad. Try to make friendship with her not only by lip service but also by your action and body language. If she is willing to give you her phone number note is down and leave your number to her. If she is not willing to give you her number do not force to do so. Tell her that you have found her interesting and you would like to make friendship with her. If she shows interest rest assured of getting more things from her. Even if she denies making any relationship do not leave her for granted. Call her in some convenient hour and try to persuade her by sweet and convincing tone. with this tip you can easily win the heart of any woman
Friday, October 8, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Save My Marriage Or Relationship - Getting to the Core ofRelationship Problems By Peter J Granger
Many people search on my website because their relationship hasrun into difficulties and they are looking for help or ideas.The truth is that sustaining a successful romantic relationshipis one of the hardest things we will ever do in life. Afterfalling in love and the ‘honeymoon’ period, we all have to workon our relationships. This is because relationships bring up ourdeepest fears and insecurities. We can even think ofrelationship problems as our best opportunity to heal ourpersonal issues – that is why we have come together with ourpartner.
I could offer you some temporary fixes to an ailingrelationship, but if we are really going to save it and turn itinto a lifetime partnership we must learn how to work on thenegative issues that come up between us and a partner. To save arelationship and make it sustainable into the future we must bewilling to heal the core issues that have caused it to run intodifficulties in the first place.
Unexpressed Fear and Needs
All relationship problems arise from a breakdown in the lovingconnection between two people. There will always be somenegative emotions that have not been expressed in therelationship – it is the fear associated with these, usuallyunconscious, feelings that destroys the relationship. Theunexpressed feelings cause us to separate from our partnerbecause we do not want them to see our negative side in casethey reject us. Ironically, this is exactly what our protectivestrategy brings about!
Out of our fear comes our needs and these create demands on ourpartners. If there is a problem in a relationship, one or moresignificant need is NOT being met. Interestingly this will bethe same need that your partner also feels is lacking in therelationship. By identifying your unmet needs you can give thissame thing to your partner and they will automatically begin togive this same thing back to you. It is even better if you cantalk about your fears and needs with your partner in anemotionally mature way. Honest and heartfelt communication isthe best way to save a relationship. It can take courage toexpress your feelings but this is the way forward in arelationship problem. Sometimes it takes time and the help of athird party to do this, so you might consider some counselling.As you communicate about your unmet needs and fears you willfind that your partner shares them and any problems will thenfall away.
Arguments and Rows
Relationship fights are about who is going to meet the needs ofthe other person. Given that they are always shared by bothpartners, you can see how futile this is. To end an argument andprevent others occurring you must be willing to stop the fightover needs and think about what you could give to therelationship to make it better. Such leadership only comes whenwe recognise the cause of the fights and gain sufficientemotional maturity not to be triggered into anger and attack.
Judgements
Our judgements about our partners are really ourself-judgements. We project out the parts of ourselves that wedo not like on the people around us. What are you judging inyour partner? What annoys you about them? Perhaps they arealways busy at work and you don’t feel they value you. If so,how much do you value yourself and how much quality time do yougive to yourself. By working on your own self-esteem (see mywebsite for more ideas) you will become more attractive to yourpartner. After all, they fell in love with you because of thepositive qualities they saw in you – find these again inyourself, embody them with all your senses and start giving themonce again.
Spirituality
If you have a spiritual or religious belief you can ask forhelp and guidance from God (or however you know a divine orspiritual presence in your life). At the core of allrelationship problems is a loss of faith in our own spirit anddivine, loving connections. In fact we are afraid of this muchconnection – afraid of a spiritual oneness where there is justlove for ourselves, everybody and everything. It seems that wecreate our relationship problems to avoid accepting our trueloving destinies. Any spiritual practice will help withre-connecting with our spirit and help us to find peace and lovein our romantic relationships.
Love
I assume you first got together with your partner because youfelt so much love for them. At that time you both put aside yourfears and needs and discovered unconditional love. Being humanmeans that those fears often return but we can heal them bestwith a partner providing we are willing and brave enough to gointo those areas of pain in our mind that we have hidden away.We avoid expressing our pain because we don’t want our partnerto see what we perceive as a weakness – we fear they will rejectus and leave us, and yet if we don’t express them therelationship is at great risk. Therefore a willingness to openour hearts and just become more authentic will always reveal thetruth in a relationship and allow both partners to grow and taketheir lives forward.
So what is it that is holding your relationship back? Now isthe time to grasp the nettle and open your heart. Feel into yourown pain and hidden insecurities and realise that these are alsoin your partner, but probably cleverly hidden by compensatorybehaviour. Your partner needs your help and you currently havemore emotional awareness. They need your forgiveness for anyfailings and your emotional courage to inspire them to healtheir own insecurities. Pour your love, appreciation andgratitude onto your partner and re-discover all those thingsthat you adored about them in the beginning.
About the Author: Peter Granger is an acclaimed relationshipcounsellor and life coach. He is a trainer with the Psychologyof Vision. He runs relationship and self-development workshopsin the UK. For more free relationship advice and informationabout his book, go to http://www.iloveyouloveme.com
Source: http://www.isnare.com
Permanent Link:http://www.isnare.com/?aid=266530&ca=RelationshipsSave My Marriage Or Relationship - Getting to the Core ofRelationship ProblemsBy Peter J Granger
Many people search on my website because their relationship hasrun into difficulties and they are looking for help or ideas.The truth is that sustaining a successful romantic relationshipis one of the hardest things we will ever do in life. Afterfalling in love and the ‘honeymoon’ period, we all have to workon our relationships. This is because relationships bring up ourdeepest fears and insecurities. We can even think ofrelationship problems as our best opportunity to heal ourpersonal issues – that is why we have come together with ourpartner.
I could offer you some temporary fixes to an ailingrelationship, but if we are really going to save it and turn itinto a lifetime partnership we must learn how to work on thenegative issues that come up between us and a partner. To save arelationship and make it sustainable into the future we must bewilling to heal the core issues that have caused it to run intodifficulties in the first place.
Unexpressed Fear and Needs
All relationship problems arise from a breakdown in the lovingconnection between two people. There will always be somenegative emotions that have not been expressed in therelationship – it is the fear associated with these, usuallyunconscious, feelings that destroys the relationship. Theunexpressed feelings cause us to separate from our partnerbecause we do not want them to see our negative side in casethey reject us. Ironically, this is exactly what our protectivestrategy brings about!
Out of our fear comes our needs and these create demands on ourpartners. If there is a problem in a relationship, one or moresignificant need is NOT being met. Interestingly this will bethe same need that your partner also feels is lacking in therelationship. By identifying your unmet needs you can give thissame thing to your partner and they will automatically begin togive this same thing back to you. It is even better if you cantalk about your fears and needs with your partner in anemotionally mature way. Honest and heartfelt communication isthe best way to save a relationship. It can take courage toexpress your feelings but this is the way forward in arelationship problem. Sometimes it takes time and the help of athird party to do this, so you might consider some counselling.As you communicate about your unmet needs and fears you willfind that your partner shares them and any problems will thenfall away.
Arguments and Rows
Relationship fights are about who is going to meet the needs ofthe other person. Given that they are always shared by bothpartners, you can see how futile this is. To end an argument andprevent others occurring you must be willing to stop the fightover needs and think about what you could give to therelationship to make it better. Such leadership only comes whenwe recognise the cause of the fights and gain sufficientemotional maturity not to be triggered into anger and attack.
Judgements
Our judgements about our partners are really ourself-judgements. We project out the parts of ourselves that wedo not like on the people around us. What are you judging inyour partner? What annoys you about them? Perhaps they arealways busy at work and you don’t feel they value you. If so,how much do you value yourself and how much quality time do yougive to yourself. By working on your own self-esteem (see mywebsite for more ideas) you will become more attractive to yourpartner. After all, they fell in love with you because of thepositive qualities they saw in you – find these again inyourself, embody them with all your senses and start giving themonce again.
Spirituality
If you have a spiritual or religious belief you can ask forhelp and guidance from God (or however you know a divine orspiritual presence in your life). At the core of allrelationship problems is a loss of faith in our own spirit anddivine, loving connections. In fact we are afraid of this muchconnection – afraid of a spiritual oneness where there is justlove for ourselves, everybody and everything. It seems that wecreate our relationship problems to avoid accepting our trueloving destinies. Any spiritual practice will help withre-connecting with our spirit and help us to find peace and lovein our romantic relationships.
Love
I assume you first got together with your partner because youfelt so much love for them. At that time you both put aside yourfears and needs and discovered unconditional love. Being humanmeans that those fears often return but we can heal them bestwith a partner providing we are willing and brave enough to gointo those areas of pain in our mind that we have hidden away.We avoid expressing our pain because we don’t want our partnerto see what we perceive as a weakness – we fear they will rejectus and leave us, and yet if we don’t express them therelationship is at great risk. Therefore a willingness to openour hearts and just become more authentic will always reveal thetruth in a relationship and allow both partners to grow and taketheir lives forward.
So what is it that is holding your relationship back? Now isthe time to grasp the nettle and open your heart. Feel into yourown pain and hidden insecurities and realise that these are alsoin your partner, but probably cleverly hidden by compensatorybehaviour. Your partner needs your help and you currently havemore emotional awareness. They need your forgiveness for anyfailings and your emotional courage to inspire them to healtheir own insecurities. Pour your love, appreciation andgratitude onto your partner and re-discover all those thingsthat you adored about them in the beginning.
About the Author: Peter Granger is an acclaimed relationshipcounsellor and life coach. He is a trainer with the Psychologyof Vision. He runs relationship and self-development workshopsin the UK. For more free relationship advice and informationabout his book, go to http://www.iloveyouloveme.com
Source: http://www.isnare.com
Permanent Link:http://www.isnare.com/?aid=266530&ca=RelationshipsSave My Marriage Or Relationship - Getting to the Core ofRelationship ProblemsBy Peter J Granger
Many people search on my website because their relationship hasrun into difficulties and they are looking for help or ideas.The truth is that sustaining a successful romantic relationshipis one of the hardest things we will ever do in life. Afterfalling in love and the ‘honeymoon’ period, we all have to workon our relationships. This is because relationships bring up ourdeepest fears and insecurities. We can even think ofrelationship problems as our best opportunity to heal ourpersonal issues – that is why we have come together with ourpartner.
I could offer you some temporary fixes to an ailingrelationship, but if we are really going to save it and turn itinto a lifetime partnership we must learn how to work on thenegative issues that come up between us and a partner. To save arelationship and make it sustainable into the future we must bewilling to heal the core issues that have caused it to run intodifficulties in the first place.
Unexpressed Fear and Needs
All relationship problems arise from a breakdown in the lovingconnection between two people. There will always be somenegative emotions that have not been expressed in therelationship – it is the fear associated with these, usuallyunconscious, feelings that destroys the relationship. Theunexpressed feelings cause us to separate from our partnerbecause we do not want them to see our negative side in casethey reject us. Ironically, this is exactly what our protectivestrategy brings about!
Out of our fear comes our needs and these create demands on ourpartners. If there is a problem in a relationship, one or moresignificant need is NOT being met. Interestingly this will bethe same need that your partner also feels is lacking in therelationship. By identifying your unmet needs you can give thissame thing to your partner and they will automatically begin togive this same thing back to you. It is even better if you cantalk about your fears and needs with your partner in anemotionally mature way. Honest and heartfelt communication isthe best way to save a relationship. It can take courage toexpress your feelings but this is the way forward in arelationship problem. Sometimes it takes time and the help of athird party to do this, so you might consider some counselling.As you communicate about your unmet needs and fears you willfind that your partner shares them and any problems will thenfall away.
Arguments and Rows
Relationship fights are about who is going to meet the needs ofthe other person. Given that they are always shared by bothpartners, you can see how futile this is. To end an argument andprevent others occurring you must be willing to stop the fightover needs and think about what you could give to therelationship to make it better. Such leadership only comes whenwe recognise the cause of the fights and gain sufficientemotional maturity not to be triggered into anger and attack.
Judgements
Our judgements about our partners are really ourself-judgements. We project out the parts of ourselves that wedo not like on the people around us. What are you judging inyour partner? What annoys you about them? Perhaps they arealways busy at work and you don’t feel they value you. If so,how much do you value yourself and how much quality time do yougive to yourself. By working on your own self-esteem (see mywebsite for more ideas) you will become more attractive to yourpartner. After all, they fell in love with you because of thepositive qualities they saw in you – find these again inyourself, embody them with all your senses and start giving themonce again.
Spirituality
If you have a spiritual or religious belief you can ask forhelp and guidance from God (or however you know a divine orspiritual presence in your life). At the core of allrelationship problems is a loss of faith in our own spirit anddivine, loving connections. In fact we are afraid of this muchconnection – afraid of a spiritual oneness where there is justlove for ourselves, everybody and everything. It seems that wecreate our relationship problems to avoid accepting our trueloving destinies. Any spiritual practice will help withre-connecting with our spirit and help us to find peace and lovein our romantic relationships.
Love
I assume you first got together with your partner because youfelt so much love for them. At that time you both put aside yourfears and needs and discovered unconditional love. Being humanmeans that those fears often return but we can heal them bestwith a partner providing we are willing and brave enough to gointo those areas of pain in our mind that we have hidden away.We avoid expressing our pain because we don’t want our partnerto see what we perceive as a weakness – we fear they will rejectus and leave us, and yet if we don’t express them therelationship is at great risk. Therefore a willingness to openour hearts and just become more authentic will always reveal thetruth in a relationship and allow both partners to grow and taketheir lives forward.
So what is it that is holding your relationship back? Now isthe time to grasp the nettle and open your heart. Feel into yourown pain and hidden insecurities and realise that these are alsoin your partner, but probably cleverly hidden by compensatorybehaviour. Your partner needs your help and you currently havemore emotional awareness. They need your forgiveness for anyfailings and your emotional courage to inspire them to healtheir own insecurities. Pour your love, appreciation andgratitude onto your partner and re-discover all those thingsthat you adored about them in the beginning.
About the Author: Peter Granger is an acclaimed relationshipcounsellor and life coach. He is a trainer with the Psychologyof Vision. He runs relationship and self-development workshopsin the UK. For more free relationship advice and informationabout his book, go to http://www.iloveyouloveme.com
Source: http://www.isnare.com
Permanent Link:http://www.isnare.com/?aid=266530&ca=RelationshipsSave My Marriage Or Relationship - Getting to the Core ofRelationship ProblemsBy Peter J Granger
Many people search on my website because their relationship hasrun into difficulties and they are looking for help or ideas.The truth is that sustaining a successful romantic relationshipis one of the hardest things we will ever do in life. Afterfalling in love and the ‘honeymoon’ period, we all have to workon our relationships. This is because relationships bring up ourdeepest fears and insecurities. We can even think ofrelationship problems as our best opportunity to heal ourpersonal issues – that is why we have come together with ourpartner.
I could offer you some temporary fixes to an ailingrelationship, but if we are really going to save it and turn itinto a lifetime partnership we must learn how to work on thenegative issues that come up between us and a partner. To save arelationship and make it sustainable into the future we must bewilling to heal the core issues that have caused it to run intodifficulties in the first place.
Unexpressed Fear and Needs
All relationship problems arise from a breakdown in the lovingconnection between two people. There will always be somenegative emotions that have not been expressed in therelationship – it is the fear associated with these, usuallyunconscious, feelings that destroys the relationship. Theunexpressed feelings cause us to separate from our partnerbecause we do not want them to see our negative side in casethey reject us. Ironically, this is exactly what our protectivestrategy brings about!
Out of our fear comes our needs and these create demands on ourpartners. If there is a problem in a relationship, one or moresignificant need is NOT being met. Interestingly this will bethe same need that your partner also feels is lacking in therelationship. By identifying your unmet needs you can give thissame thing to your partner and they will automatically begin togive this same thing back to you. It is even better if you cantalk about your fears and needs with your partner in anemotionally mature way. Honest and heartfelt communication isthe best way to save a relationship. It can take courage toexpress your feelings but this is the way forward in arelationship problem. Sometimes it takes time and the help of athird party to do this, so you might consider some counselling.As you communicate about your unmet needs and fears you willfind that your partner shares them and any problems will thenfall away.
Arguments and Rows
Relationship fights are about who is going to meet the needs ofthe other person. Given that they are always shared by bothpartners, you can see how futile this is. To end an argument andprevent others occurring you must be willing to stop the fightover needs and think about what you could give to therelationship to make it better. Such leadership only comes whenwe recognise the cause of the fights and gain sufficientemotional maturity not to be triggered into anger and attack.
Judgements
Our judgements about our partners are really ourself-judgements. We project out the parts of ourselves that wedo not like on the people around us. What are you judging inyour partner? What annoys you about them? Perhaps they arealways busy at work and you don’t feel they value you. If so,how much do you value yourself and how much quality time do yougive to yourself. By working on your own self-esteem (see mywebsite for more ideas) you will become more attractive to yourpartner. After all, they fell in love with you because of thepositive qualities they saw in you – find these again inyourself, embody them with all your senses and start giving themonce again.
Spirituality
If you have a spiritual or religious belief you can ask forhelp and guidance from God (or however you know a divine orspiritual presence in your life). At the core of allrelationship problems is a loss of faith in our own spirit anddivine, loving connections. In fact we are afraid of this muchconnection – afraid of a spiritual oneness where there is justlove for ourselves, everybody and everything. It seems that wecreate our relationship problems to avoid accepting our trueloving destinies. Any spiritual practice will help withre-connecting with our spirit and help us to find peace and lovein our romantic relationships.
Love
I assume you first got together with your partner because youfelt so much love for them. At that time you both put aside yourfears and needs and discovered unconditional love. Being humanmeans that those fears often return but we can heal them bestwith a partner providing we are willing and brave enough to gointo those areas of pain in our mind that we have hidden away.We avoid expressing our pain because we don’t want our partnerto see what we perceive as a weakness – we fear they will rejectus and leave us, and yet if we don’t express them therelationship is at great risk. Therefore a willingness to openour hearts and just become more authentic will always reveal thetruth in a relationship and allow both partners to grow and taketheir lives forward.
So what is it that is holding your relationship back? Now isthe time to grasp the nettle and open your heart. Feel into yourown pain and hidden insecurities and realise that these are alsoin your partner, but probably cleverly hidden by compensatorybehaviour. Your partner needs your help and you currently havemore emotional awareness. They need your forgiveness for anyfailings and your emotional courage to inspire them to healtheir own insecurities. Pour your love, appreciation andgratitude onto your partner and re-discover all those thingsthat you adored about them in the beginning.
About the Author: Peter Granger is an acclaimed relationshipcounsellor and life coach. He is a trainer with the Psychologyof Vision. He runs relationship and self-development workshopsin the UK. For more free relationship advice and informationabout his book, go to http://www.iloveyouloveme.com
Source: http://www.isnare.com
Permanent Link:http://www.isnare.com/?aid=266530&ca=Relationships
Many people search on my website because their relationship hasrun into difficulties and they are looking for help or ideas.The truth is that sustaining a successful romantic relationshipis one of the hardest things we will ever do in life. Afterfalling in love and the ‘honeymoon’ period, we all have to workon our relationships. This is because relationships bring up ourdeepest fears and insecurities. We can even think ofrelationship problems as our best opportunity to heal ourpersonal issues – that is why we have come together with ourpartner.
I could offer you some temporary fixes to an ailingrelationship, but if we are really going to save it and turn itinto a lifetime partnership we must learn how to work on thenegative issues that come up between us and a partner. To save arelationship and make it sustainable into the future we must bewilling to heal the core issues that have caused it to run intodifficulties in the first place.
Unexpressed Fear and Needs
All relationship problems arise from a breakdown in the lovingconnection between two people. There will always be somenegative emotions that have not been expressed in therelationship – it is the fear associated with these, usuallyunconscious, feelings that destroys the relationship. Theunexpressed feelings cause us to separate from our partnerbecause we do not want them to see our negative side in casethey reject us. Ironically, this is exactly what our protectivestrategy brings about!
Out of our fear comes our needs and these create demands on ourpartners. If there is a problem in a relationship, one or moresignificant need is NOT being met. Interestingly this will bethe same need that your partner also feels is lacking in therelationship. By identifying your unmet needs you can give thissame thing to your partner and they will automatically begin togive this same thing back to you. It is even better if you cantalk about your fears and needs with your partner in anemotionally mature way. Honest and heartfelt communication isthe best way to save a relationship. It can take courage toexpress your feelings but this is the way forward in arelationship problem. Sometimes it takes time and the help of athird party to do this, so you might consider some counselling.As you communicate about your unmet needs and fears you willfind that your partner shares them and any problems will thenfall away.
Arguments and Rows
Relationship fights are about who is going to meet the needs ofthe other person. Given that they are always shared by bothpartners, you can see how futile this is. To end an argument andprevent others occurring you must be willing to stop the fightover needs and think about what you could give to therelationship to make it better. Such leadership only comes whenwe recognise the cause of the fights and gain sufficientemotional maturity not to be triggered into anger and attack.
Judgements
Our judgements about our partners are really ourself-judgements. We project out the parts of ourselves that wedo not like on the people around us. What are you judging inyour partner? What annoys you about them? Perhaps they arealways busy at work and you don’t feel they value you. If so,how much do you value yourself and how much quality time do yougive to yourself. By working on your own self-esteem (see mywebsite for more ideas) you will become more attractive to yourpartner. After all, they fell in love with you because of thepositive qualities they saw in you – find these again inyourself, embody them with all your senses and start giving themonce again.
Spirituality
If you have a spiritual or religious belief you can ask forhelp and guidance from God (or however you know a divine orspiritual presence in your life). At the core of allrelationship problems is a loss of faith in our own spirit anddivine, loving connections. In fact we are afraid of this muchconnection – afraid of a spiritual oneness where there is justlove for ourselves, everybody and everything. It seems that wecreate our relationship problems to avoid accepting our trueloving destinies. Any spiritual practice will help withre-connecting with our spirit and help us to find peace and lovein our romantic relationships.
Love
I assume you first got together with your partner because youfelt so much love for them. At that time you both put aside yourfears and needs and discovered unconditional love. Being humanmeans that those fears often return but we can heal them bestwith a partner providing we are willing and brave enough to gointo those areas of pain in our mind that we have hidden away.We avoid expressing our pain because we don’t want our partnerto see what we perceive as a weakness – we fear they will rejectus and leave us, and yet if we don’t express them therelationship is at great risk. Therefore a willingness to openour hearts and just become more authentic will always reveal thetruth in a relationship and allow both partners to grow and taketheir lives forward.
So what is it that is holding your relationship back? Now isthe time to grasp the nettle and open your heart. Feel into yourown pain and hidden insecurities and realise that these are alsoin your partner, but probably cleverly hidden by compensatorybehaviour. Your partner needs your help and you currently havemore emotional awareness. They need your forgiveness for anyfailings and your emotional courage to inspire them to healtheir own insecurities. Pour your love, appreciation andgratitude onto your partner and re-discover all those thingsthat you adored about them in the beginning.
About the Author: Peter Granger is an acclaimed relationshipcounsellor and life coach. He is a trainer with the Psychologyof Vision. He runs relationship and self-development workshopsin the UK. For more free relationship advice and informationabout his book, go to http://www.iloveyouloveme.com
Source: http://www.isnare.com
Permanent Link:http://www.isnare.com/?aid=266530&ca=RelationshipsSave My Marriage Or Relationship - Getting to the Core ofRelationship ProblemsBy Peter J Granger
Many people search on my website because their relationship hasrun into difficulties and they are looking for help or ideas.The truth is that sustaining a successful romantic relationshipis one of the hardest things we will ever do in life. Afterfalling in love and the ‘honeymoon’ period, we all have to workon our relationships. This is because relationships bring up ourdeepest fears and insecurities. We can even think ofrelationship problems as our best opportunity to heal ourpersonal issues – that is why we have come together with ourpartner.
I could offer you some temporary fixes to an ailingrelationship, but if we are really going to save it and turn itinto a lifetime partnership we must learn how to work on thenegative issues that come up between us and a partner. To save arelationship and make it sustainable into the future we must bewilling to heal the core issues that have caused it to run intodifficulties in the first place.
Unexpressed Fear and Needs
All relationship problems arise from a breakdown in the lovingconnection between two people. There will always be somenegative emotions that have not been expressed in therelationship – it is the fear associated with these, usuallyunconscious, feelings that destroys the relationship. Theunexpressed feelings cause us to separate from our partnerbecause we do not want them to see our negative side in casethey reject us. Ironically, this is exactly what our protectivestrategy brings about!
Out of our fear comes our needs and these create demands on ourpartners. If there is a problem in a relationship, one or moresignificant need is NOT being met. Interestingly this will bethe same need that your partner also feels is lacking in therelationship. By identifying your unmet needs you can give thissame thing to your partner and they will automatically begin togive this same thing back to you. It is even better if you cantalk about your fears and needs with your partner in anemotionally mature way. Honest and heartfelt communication isthe best way to save a relationship. It can take courage toexpress your feelings but this is the way forward in arelationship problem. Sometimes it takes time and the help of athird party to do this, so you might consider some counselling.As you communicate about your unmet needs and fears you willfind that your partner shares them and any problems will thenfall away.
Arguments and Rows
Relationship fights are about who is going to meet the needs ofthe other person. Given that they are always shared by bothpartners, you can see how futile this is. To end an argument andprevent others occurring you must be willing to stop the fightover needs and think about what you could give to therelationship to make it better. Such leadership only comes whenwe recognise the cause of the fights and gain sufficientemotional maturity not to be triggered into anger and attack.
Judgements
Our judgements about our partners are really ourself-judgements. We project out the parts of ourselves that wedo not like on the people around us. What are you judging inyour partner? What annoys you about them? Perhaps they arealways busy at work and you don’t feel they value you. If so,how much do you value yourself and how much quality time do yougive to yourself. By working on your own self-esteem (see mywebsite for more ideas) you will become more attractive to yourpartner. After all, they fell in love with you because of thepositive qualities they saw in you – find these again inyourself, embody them with all your senses and start giving themonce again.
Spirituality
If you have a spiritual or religious belief you can ask forhelp and guidance from God (or however you know a divine orspiritual presence in your life). At the core of allrelationship problems is a loss of faith in our own spirit anddivine, loving connections. In fact we are afraid of this muchconnection – afraid of a spiritual oneness where there is justlove for ourselves, everybody and everything. It seems that wecreate our relationship problems to avoid accepting our trueloving destinies. Any spiritual practice will help withre-connecting with our spirit and help us to find peace and lovein our romantic relationships.
Love
I assume you first got together with your partner because youfelt so much love for them. At that time you both put aside yourfears and needs and discovered unconditional love. Being humanmeans that those fears often return but we can heal them bestwith a partner providing we are willing and brave enough to gointo those areas of pain in our mind that we have hidden away.We avoid expressing our pain because we don’t want our partnerto see what we perceive as a weakness – we fear they will rejectus and leave us, and yet if we don’t express them therelationship is at great risk. Therefore a willingness to openour hearts and just become more authentic will always reveal thetruth in a relationship and allow both partners to grow and taketheir lives forward.
So what is it that is holding your relationship back? Now isthe time to grasp the nettle and open your heart. Feel into yourown pain and hidden insecurities and realise that these are alsoin your partner, but probably cleverly hidden by compensatorybehaviour. Your partner needs your help and you currently havemore emotional awareness. They need your forgiveness for anyfailings and your emotional courage to inspire them to healtheir own insecurities. Pour your love, appreciation andgratitude onto your partner and re-discover all those thingsthat you adored about them in the beginning.
About the Author: Peter Granger is an acclaimed relationshipcounsellor and life coach. He is a trainer with the Psychologyof Vision. He runs relationship and self-development workshopsin the UK. For more free relationship advice and informationabout his book, go to http://www.iloveyouloveme.com
Source: http://www.isnare.com
Permanent Link:http://www.isnare.com/?aid=266530&ca=RelationshipsSave My Marriage Or Relationship - Getting to the Core ofRelationship ProblemsBy Peter J Granger
Many people search on my website because their relationship hasrun into difficulties and they are looking for help or ideas.The truth is that sustaining a successful romantic relationshipis one of the hardest things we will ever do in life. Afterfalling in love and the ‘honeymoon’ period, we all have to workon our relationships. This is because relationships bring up ourdeepest fears and insecurities. We can even think ofrelationship problems as our best opportunity to heal ourpersonal issues – that is why we have come together with ourpartner.
I could offer you some temporary fixes to an ailingrelationship, but if we are really going to save it and turn itinto a lifetime partnership we must learn how to work on thenegative issues that come up between us and a partner. To save arelationship and make it sustainable into the future we must bewilling to heal the core issues that have caused it to run intodifficulties in the first place.
Unexpressed Fear and Needs
All relationship problems arise from a breakdown in the lovingconnection between two people. There will always be somenegative emotions that have not been expressed in therelationship – it is the fear associated with these, usuallyunconscious, feelings that destroys the relationship. Theunexpressed feelings cause us to separate from our partnerbecause we do not want them to see our negative side in casethey reject us. Ironically, this is exactly what our protectivestrategy brings about!
Out of our fear comes our needs and these create demands on ourpartners. If there is a problem in a relationship, one or moresignificant need is NOT being met. Interestingly this will bethe same need that your partner also feels is lacking in therelationship. By identifying your unmet needs you can give thissame thing to your partner and they will automatically begin togive this same thing back to you. It is even better if you cantalk about your fears and needs with your partner in anemotionally mature way. Honest and heartfelt communication isthe best way to save a relationship. It can take courage toexpress your feelings but this is the way forward in arelationship problem. Sometimes it takes time and the help of athird party to do this, so you might consider some counselling.As you communicate about your unmet needs and fears you willfind that your partner shares them and any problems will thenfall away.
Arguments and Rows
Relationship fights are about who is going to meet the needs ofthe other person. Given that they are always shared by bothpartners, you can see how futile this is. To end an argument andprevent others occurring you must be willing to stop the fightover needs and think about what you could give to therelationship to make it better. Such leadership only comes whenwe recognise the cause of the fights and gain sufficientemotional maturity not to be triggered into anger and attack.
Judgements
Our judgements about our partners are really ourself-judgements. We project out the parts of ourselves that wedo not like on the people around us. What are you judging inyour partner? What annoys you about them? Perhaps they arealways busy at work and you don’t feel they value you. If so,how much do you value yourself and how much quality time do yougive to yourself. By working on your own self-esteem (see mywebsite for more ideas) you will become more attractive to yourpartner. After all, they fell in love with you because of thepositive qualities they saw in you – find these again inyourself, embody them with all your senses and start giving themonce again.
Spirituality
If you have a spiritual or religious belief you can ask forhelp and guidance from God (or however you know a divine orspiritual presence in your life). At the core of allrelationship problems is a loss of faith in our own spirit anddivine, loving connections. In fact we are afraid of this muchconnection – afraid of a spiritual oneness where there is justlove for ourselves, everybody and everything. It seems that wecreate our relationship problems to avoid accepting our trueloving destinies. Any spiritual practice will help withre-connecting with our spirit and help us to find peace and lovein our romantic relationships.
Love
I assume you first got together with your partner because youfelt so much love for them. At that time you both put aside yourfears and needs and discovered unconditional love. Being humanmeans that those fears often return but we can heal them bestwith a partner providing we are willing and brave enough to gointo those areas of pain in our mind that we have hidden away.We avoid expressing our pain because we don’t want our partnerto see what we perceive as a weakness – we fear they will rejectus and leave us, and yet if we don’t express them therelationship is at great risk. Therefore a willingness to openour hearts and just become more authentic will always reveal thetruth in a relationship and allow both partners to grow and taketheir lives forward.
So what is it that is holding your relationship back? Now isthe time to grasp the nettle and open your heart. Feel into yourown pain and hidden insecurities and realise that these are alsoin your partner, but probably cleverly hidden by compensatorybehaviour. Your partner needs your help and you currently havemore emotional awareness. They need your forgiveness for anyfailings and your emotional courage to inspire them to healtheir own insecurities. Pour your love, appreciation andgratitude onto your partner and re-discover all those thingsthat you adored about them in the beginning.
About the Author: Peter Granger is an acclaimed relationshipcounsellor and life coach. He is a trainer with the Psychologyof Vision. He runs relationship and self-development workshopsin the UK. For more free relationship advice and informationabout his book, go to http://www.iloveyouloveme.com
Source: http://www.isnare.com
Permanent Link:http://www.isnare.com/?aid=266530&ca=RelationshipsSave My Marriage Or Relationship - Getting to the Core ofRelationship ProblemsBy Peter J Granger
Many people search on my website because their relationship hasrun into difficulties and they are looking for help or ideas.The truth is that sustaining a successful romantic relationshipis one of the hardest things we will ever do in life. Afterfalling in love and the ‘honeymoon’ period, we all have to workon our relationships. This is because relationships bring up ourdeepest fears and insecurities. We can even think ofrelationship problems as our best opportunity to heal ourpersonal issues – that is why we have come together with ourpartner.
I could offer you some temporary fixes to an ailingrelationship, but if we are really going to save it and turn itinto a lifetime partnership we must learn how to work on thenegative issues that come up between us and a partner. To save arelationship and make it sustainable into the future we must bewilling to heal the core issues that have caused it to run intodifficulties in the first place.
Unexpressed Fear and Needs
All relationship problems arise from a breakdown in the lovingconnection between two people. There will always be somenegative emotions that have not been expressed in therelationship – it is the fear associated with these, usuallyunconscious, feelings that destroys the relationship. Theunexpressed feelings cause us to separate from our partnerbecause we do not want them to see our negative side in casethey reject us. Ironically, this is exactly what our protectivestrategy brings about!
Out of our fear comes our needs and these create demands on ourpartners. If there is a problem in a relationship, one or moresignificant need is NOT being met. Interestingly this will bethe same need that your partner also feels is lacking in therelationship. By identifying your unmet needs you can give thissame thing to your partner and they will automatically begin togive this same thing back to you. It is even better if you cantalk about your fears and needs with your partner in anemotionally mature way. Honest and heartfelt communication isthe best way to save a relationship. It can take courage toexpress your feelings but this is the way forward in arelationship problem. Sometimes it takes time and the help of athird party to do this, so you might consider some counselling.As you communicate about your unmet needs and fears you willfind that your partner shares them and any problems will thenfall away.
Arguments and Rows
Relationship fights are about who is going to meet the needs ofthe other person. Given that they are always shared by bothpartners, you can see how futile this is. To end an argument andprevent others occurring you must be willing to stop the fightover needs and think about what you could give to therelationship to make it better. Such leadership only comes whenwe recognise the cause of the fights and gain sufficientemotional maturity not to be triggered into anger and attack.
Judgements
Our judgements about our partners are really ourself-judgements. We project out the parts of ourselves that wedo not like on the people around us. What are you judging inyour partner? What annoys you about them? Perhaps they arealways busy at work and you don’t feel they value you. If so,how much do you value yourself and how much quality time do yougive to yourself. By working on your own self-esteem (see mywebsite for more ideas) you will become more attractive to yourpartner. After all, they fell in love with you because of thepositive qualities they saw in you – find these again inyourself, embody them with all your senses and start giving themonce again.
Spirituality
If you have a spiritual or religious belief you can ask forhelp and guidance from God (or however you know a divine orspiritual presence in your life). At the core of allrelationship problems is a loss of faith in our own spirit anddivine, loving connections. In fact we are afraid of this muchconnection – afraid of a spiritual oneness where there is justlove for ourselves, everybody and everything. It seems that wecreate our relationship problems to avoid accepting our trueloving destinies. Any spiritual practice will help withre-connecting with our spirit and help us to find peace and lovein our romantic relationships.
Love
I assume you first got together with your partner because youfelt so much love for them. At that time you both put aside yourfears and needs and discovered unconditional love. Being humanmeans that those fears often return but we can heal them bestwith a partner providing we are willing and brave enough to gointo those areas of pain in our mind that we have hidden away.We avoid expressing our pain because we don’t want our partnerto see what we perceive as a weakness – we fear they will rejectus and leave us, and yet if we don’t express them therelationship is at great risk. Therefore a willingness to openour hearts and just become more authentic will always reveal thetruth in a relationship and allow both partners to grow and taketheir lives forward.
So what is it that is holding your relationship back? Now isthe time to grasp the nettle and open your heart. Feel into yourown pain and hidden insecurities and realise that these are alsoin your partner, but probably cleverly hidden by compensatorybehaviour. Your partner needs your help and you currently havemore emotional awareness. They need your forgiveness for anyfailings and your emotional courage to inspire them to healtheir own insecurities. Pour your love, appreciation andgratitude onto your partner and re-discover all those thingsthat you adored about them in the beginning.
About the Author: Peter Granger is an acclaimed relationshipcounsellor and life coach. He is a trainer with the Psychologyof Vision. He runs relationship and self-development workshopsin the UK. For more free relationship advice and informationabout his book, go to http://www.iloveyouloveme.com
Source: http://www.isnare.com
Permanent Link:http://www.isnare.com/?aid=266530&ca=Relationships
Monday, February 1, 2010
QUALITY OF FRIENSHIP IN RELATIONSHIP
THEY WISH OTHER THE BEST
A good friend wants only your best. If you start to see success in what is your life's purpose and your dreams, a good friend is supportive and no jealous of you or envious. I have a good friend online on Facebook and she is never going to rise to the level of preaching as I am, yet she is happy just to be in my corner and encourage me. My friend is always encouraging me and giving me feedback on my articles and sermons I post online.
Show Sympathy
When you go through hard times a good friend is there to offer support and sympathy. They are not quick to tell you to get a grip on your emotions but they are willing to see your problem and show that they care about the fact that you are hurt. In the past few weeks I have been attacked online and called a false prophet and my friends have rallied around me, read and watched was what said and given me support.
Honesty
A person that is a good friend won't be lying to you. If you are asking for advice about something important they won't be saying something sounds good or looks good just to make you happy. Whether it is good news or bad news, a good friend will tell you the truth.
Show Sympathy
When you go through hard times a good friend is there to offer support and sympathy. They are not quick to tell you to get a grip on your emotions but they are willing to see your problem and show that they care about the fact that you are hurt. In the past few weeks I have been attacked online and called a false prophet and my friends have rallied around me, read and watched was what said and given me support.
Honesty
A person that is a good friend won't be lying to you. If you are asking for advice about something important they won't be saying something sounds good or looks good just to make you happy. Whether it is good news or bad news, a good friend will tell you the truth.
A good friend will support you in all areas. They will know that you are human with human floors like any person. They will accept your short falls and they will not be judging you all the time like other people. A good friend loves you for who you are.
Offer Advice
A friend that is good for you will offer their advice from time to time in your life. As a friend they have the ability to see you closer and know your thoughts and desires and from time to time they can see a better way for you to do things. In these times they are able to offer you good advice and when they are a good friend most times its advice that makes a difference.
A friend that is good for you will offer their advice from time to time in your life. As a friend they have the ability to see you closer and know your thoughts and desires and from time to time they can see a better way for you to do things. In these times they are able to offer you good advice and when they are a good friend most times its advice that makes a difference.
Support and Listen to You
There is such friends as fine weather friends. They are people that are with you when everything is going fine. But we all need friends that are still around when the chips are down. A good friend will help hold you up in hard times and support you in many ways. They are there to listen to you in good and tough times and will simply listen for a long time without feeling the need to control you or tell you their opinion. A good friend is rare but it is better to have a true friend like this than many friends that don't make the grade.
Sharing Themself.
A good friend will introduce you to their world. They will share you with their other friends and introduce you to their family. There is nothing that a goo friend will not do for you. You are their friend and there is nothing that they will hold back.
Be blessed.
There is such friends as fine weather friends. They are people that are with you when everything is going fine. But we all need friends that are still around when the chips are down. A good friend will help hold you up in hard times and support you in many ways. They are there to listen to you in good and tough times and will simply listen for a long time without feeling the need to control you or tell you their opinion. A good friend is rare but it is better to have a true friend like this than many friends that don't make the grade.
Sharing Themself.
A good friend will introduce you to their world. They will share you with their other friends and introduce you to their family. There is nothing that a goo friend will not do for you. You are their friend and there is nothing that they will hold back.
Be blessed.
Take the advantage of the quality of true friendship in your relation ship.and reap the benefit.
Monday, January 25, 2010
How you can maintain healthy relationship
Not only do relationships need to be built from the ground up, like the house, they need maintaining once the construction phase is complete. Maintenance can even seem like harder work. This is probably because we don't get as much visual feedback for our investment of effort. Yet, to keep things on track and viable we do need to invest.
Inspections
At every stage of construction, and throughout the life of the house, the house will require inspection-to check for anomalies, the condition of things, wear and tear etc. Part of the process is about observing how things are going (or wearing out) over time.
We are loath to forget our relationships either. Instead of inspections, however, we're managing expectations all the time; using feedback as a gauge for the condition of things. We're constantly checking the foundations of trust, ensuring we are always doing enough to engender trust via respect for the other party. These two pillars-trust and respect-are the bricks and mortar of our relational constructions.
We must respect boundaries. We must not impede the rapport.
Construction projects are fun and we should enjoy every stage of them. Constructing rapport is the business of humanity. What are you constructing today? How do you plan to construct? What checks will you have in place? What feedback will you be seeking?ralationship worth building from the scratch until it is stand and strong.
Inspections
At every stage of construction, and throughout the life of the house, the house will require inspection-to check for anomalies, the condition of things, wear and tear etc. Part of the process is about observing how things are going (or wearing out) over time.
We are loath to forget our relationships either. Instead of inspections, however, we're managing expectations all the time; using feedback as a gauge for the condition of things. We're constantly checking the foundations of trust, ensuring we are always doing enough to engender trust via respect for the other party. These two pillars-trust and respect-are the bricks and mortar of our relational constructions.
We must respect boundaries. We must not impede the rapport.
Construction projects are fun and we should enjoy every stage of them. Constructing rapport is the business of humanity. What are you constructing today? How do you plan to construct? What checks will you have in place? What feedback will you be seeking?ralationship worth building from the scratch until it is stand and strong.
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